Controlled fall

I've received advice from more than one amputee about falling -- 'tuck and roll,' they say, or 'learn to control your fall,' so I won't get hurt. During the past two years living without a leg and (mostly) without a prosthesis, I've been getting around on crutches. At home I'm in a wheelchair most of the time and sometimes will hop across the room (or rather I did, until I learned recently that hopping is especially dangerous and damaging to joints).

Before I lost my leg I was an active skier (50+ days on the mountain each winter) and mountain biker in the Rocky Mountains and red rock desert of Colorado, Utah and Arizona. Both of these sports are essentially a series of controlled falls. You point yourself downhill and through a series of technical maneuvers, balance and plain old-fashioned luck, you guide you fall yet inevitably you move downhill; you experience the thrill of pushing your physical limits while in the grip of gravity. 

Now my daily mobility is also dependent on gravity. Sometimes the movements feel similar to my past activities, but now it's a different game I play with gravity. Sometimes I use gravity to pull me down and forward, as when I'm moving from wheelchair to sofa. Other times I have to pull against it, lifting myself up and out of a chair, but then I'll use the momentum to continue to propel myself forward, as when taking steps with crutches. Sometimes I feel out of balance and almost out of control, as if I'm taking big chances to rely on my balance and land on my target seat. Yet so far I've fallen fewer times than I can count on one hand and haven't had any injuries worse than a big bruise on my behind.

All of these experiences, this playing with gravity and learning to fall safely, give me insight into re-learning how to walk. A proper gait includes fully weighting my left leg (prosthesis) to trigger the knee function. Learning to walk down a slope or down stairs step-over-step using the C-leg is a more intense act of trust, requiring reliance on the prosthetic knee to fully support my body weight while I move through mid-air.

The better I understand the functionality of my new prosthesis and my new physical limits, and the more experience I have using my prosthesis, the better I understand how to use my new 'gear' to play with gravity and learn to once again enjoy the controlled fall.

POSTED ON AMPUTEE EMPOWERMENT PARTNERS 9 JUL 2011, 08:44 PM

Will "Bionic Bodies" Offer High-Tech Hope to the Disabled?

On June 28, PBS Newshour ran a segment about technological advances in prostheses -- the use of "bionics" -- that are now being tested with real people (you can view the segment online). The word "bionics" is gradually becoming accepted among researchers as a descriptor of the fusion of biology and electronics -- an apt application for advanced technology prostheses. In the segment, they talk about advances that have come out of military research (including the arm created by Dean Kamen, funded by DARPA). Technologies that aid mobility, manipulation, vision and sight are demonstrated. I highly recommend viewing the piece.

An avid supporter of technology and research, I have high hopes that someday I too will personally benefit -- that in the future my movements will become more and more natural and that I will be able to do more of what I did before. (Ah -- if I could once again ride my mountain bike through the aspen groves of the San Juan Mountains...) For all disabled people, this could improve quality of life and increase our ability to contribute to society.

Whenever the advanced capabilities of new prosthetic limbs are compared to natural limbs, however, I confess I feel a bit angry. This new stuff is amazing and wonderful, yet in the excitement and celebration of the new achievements there needs to be an acknowledgment that there is nothing like the real thing, that there is no real substitute. In the PBS Newshour segment, I was pleased to hear Dean Kamen admit "I don't know anybody today that would say, 'yeah, I'd rather have your arm than the original equipment'," as he raised his hand and wiggled his fingers.

POSTED ON AMPUTEE EMPOWERMENT PARTNERS 30 JUN 2011, 01:30 PM

"Merging Man and Machine: The Bionic Age," National Geographic, January 2010

If you've already educated yourself about the prosthetic options that are available and those that we'll see in the not-too-distant future, then this article won't offer any surprises. But it offers an easy read and great graphics for educating others -- useful for amputees to share with family and friends. It has explanations of how advances in technology have helped to create better prostheses. For example, in a "bionic" arm, neural impulses are transmitted to electrodes that then trigger muscle movements in the shoulder or upper arm; electrodes placed on those muscles capture the brain's impulses and relay those commands via wires to motors that operate the elbow, wrist and fingers. Similarly, neural implant technology is used to help the deaf and blind. View the entire article online at NationalGeographic.com.

POSTED ON AMPUTEE EMPOWERMENT PARTNERS 27 JUN 2011, 08:34 PM

I'm now a featured blogger on Amputee Empowerment Partners

I was recently invited by Carrie Davis, founder of Amputee Empowerment Partners, to be a featured blogger on this social networking site created especially for amputees, families, caregivers and friends. AEP was founded as a safe place for people to share their feelings, thoughts, ideas and resources. I was introduced to the site by another AKA, Todd, who I met at the monthly Gaylord Hospital amputee support group meeting. Not sure what to expect, I joined the site and before I knew it I was posting queries about knee technology and offering support to others. There are two million amputees in the U.S., and over half of those are lower limb amputees, yet I the first amputee I ever met was myself. It's easy to feel isolated and unique -- and difficult to remember that there are a million people out there who have had a similar experience.
I'm honored to be selected as a featured blogger and because AEP is a members-only site, I hope to share my posts here as well. Of course, you can also join AEP.

Loving skiing again

On Saturday I joined the Gaylord Adaptive Sports Association on a ski trip to Bromley Mountain in Vermont. Because of my hospitalization in November, I've missed most of the ski season. I also have had mixed feelings about skiing again. It had been something I truly loved to do, and I knew it would never be the same. I learned to ski when I was about six years old. I remember pulling on my shiny black ski boots, lacing them up tight, strapping on my little wooden skis (painted blue with red and white stripes), snapping into the bear-trap bindings, climbing up the slope in our backyard (at the farm) and sliding down again. Maybe that's just a romantic memory, but it is true that I have been skiing for over 40 years.


Anyway, last year I learned that 3-track skiing was HARD. I could barely make it down the bunny hill without my legs burning from the effort. I was crippled for days afterward, limping along from my sore muscles. So I was concerned about suffering again, about not being able to recapture the grace and pleasure of doing something really well, and also just hurting while trying to make my way down the gentle slope at the ski mountain and then recovering once I got back home.


Well, I had a great time. Today my calf is a bit sore, right in the meat of the muscle, and a little soreness in my forearms, but that is about it. What a relief! I guess I'm stronger than I thought. It was difficult, you better believe it, but I had fun. Now I better understand how the equipment works; the snow was warm, pure corn snow, which slowed me down (that's a good thing); and it was pure joy to glide down the slope. We did several runs on the bunny slope, then I graduated to the longer lift and had time for one long easy run.

I didn't get any video taken this time, but I'm sure it looked much the same as last year, so you can always revisit last year's video:



The entire staff at Bromley Mountain is terrific. Nancy, my instructor, and Jason, her teenage assistant, were warm, attentive and gave me helpful tips to improve my technique. They were aways right beside me when I took a tumble. They respected my request to try to do things on my own but were right there when I needed help. Joe, the manager of the adaptive program at Bromley, was also very accommodating and offered useful advice about finding my own gear, and invited all of us to return again. Bromley has a terrific team! (And they're all volunteers.)

surgery and pain

Success! That's the first and most important thing I want to note.


On Nov 19th I had surgery: abdominal reconstruction and revision to my residual limb (sounds gruesome, but those are the technical terms). Both surgeries were planned, and I was lucky to have them both done the same day. Three days later, I woke up (the day before Thanksgiving). As usual, I have dim memories of very bizarre dreams during that time. Anaesthesia seems to do that to me. Discharged on Nov 30th, I've been home for five days already.


Recently I participated in a study about chronic pain (actually, the study continues; I've completed the first portion of the study) and it has made me think more deeply about living with pain. Over the past two years, I had become accustomed to living with a certain degree of pain. Largely controlled by medication, my pain level ranged between 0-3 (on the standard pain scale of 0-10, where 0 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain imaginable). If it reached 3, that usually meant that I had forgotten to take my meds. But now, recovering from surgery, it's different.


Every morning, I feel like I've been beat up. Everything is sore and achy and my surgery sites are particularly sensitive. Two percocet, one neurontin and a cup of coffee later, and I'm ready to move around a little -- enough to get myself bathed, dressed and fed. But my movements are limited, both by pain and by doctors' orders. I'll be ok with this for a short while, but I can't imagine living with pain for the rest of my life, as do some people. Already I've learned my limitations: pain impacts my ability to concentrate, to plan for the future, to maintain an upbeat frame of mind. Luckily for me, the pain will recede as my body heals.


Also, I try to keep meds to a minimum. They dull my thought processes and reduce my stamina. (I'm trying to get some work done!) I read about the success of acupuncture for treatment of phantom limb pain. Once I'm recovered from these recent procedures, I'm going to give it a try.


Best wishes to all for a pain-free year!

hats

I've been making hats -- lots and lots of hats. Because I've been experimenting with stitch patterns (and therefore learning how to calculate sizes), my results have come out to be all shapes and sizes. Some very large, some small. So far I've made 10 or 12 hats: some will go to friends and family, but so far I've finished seven for charity. Maybe I'll get 10 done by the end of the year.

While in Mali, I met a lot of Peace Corps volunteers (PCVs). I've decided that I'm going to send the hats I make to the PCVs in Bandiagara and have them distribute them as needed. Who better, I thought, to understand local needs and be able to receive and easily distribute my small gift?

knitting for charity

I've been knitting. Most of my readers likely know that already. I learned to knit as a child; needlework is a skill shared by all of the women in my mother's family. But it was something I hadn't touched in years (probably not since I was a child). Shortly after I was released from the hospital, though, I thought of it as a useful activity I could do while in bed. Also, my good friend Sharon Turner is a master knitter, and she gave me inspiration (and books and yarn to get started).

I soon realized that it's the action of knitting that gives me the most pleasure. Don't get me wrong, I'm a sweater lover. (Really more of a sweater addict.) I love the textures and colors of yarns and the soft warmth of knitted fabric. But I quickly realized that it's the act, the craft of knitting, that I enjoy the most. 

Last year, soon after I started knitting again, I looked for charities that take knitted items and distribute them to needy children. I found several:

Knit a Square:  South Africa. Collects 8 in x 8 in knit squares and stitches them into blankets which are distributed to children's charities.

Haiti Earthquake Relief Project: Global Knit, based in Ohio, is collecting wash kits composed of a knitted washcloth, hand towel and bar of soap and is working with Food for the Poor to distribute them to earthquake victims in Haiti.

Bulgarian Orphans: Another Global Knit project, collects clothing for disabled orphans of all ages and distributes it through Cedar Foundation in Bulgaria.

Knitting and Giving: based in Connecticut, this group collects knitted items and hand-delivers them to needy people all around the world. Their "Call For Items" lists all the projects they are currently collecting for.

Lately I’ve been knitting hats. It keeps my hands busy and I get to experiment with new stitch patterns without making the long-term commitment required of a sweater or blanket. It also provides a use for all those extra bits of yarn that are leftover after a bigger project or that have been given to me by friends. It takes only one skein to make a hat or scarf. Usually I have to calculate too (keeps the quant side of my brain nimble), though it has taken me awhile to get the finished size right for different stitches (cables and so on come out smaller, for example). Consequently, many of the hats are small and two of them came out much bigger than I expected. I decided that I’d just keep going, keep making more hats – I have about eight so far – and donate them to people who need hats.

Although all the charities above look very worthy, I’ve decided to send my hats to Mali. I'll ship a box to the Peace Corps Volunteers in the area where I worked  and ask them to distribute them. Yes, the locals wear hats and coats during the “cold season.” (For those of us accustomed to northern winters, 70F is not “cold.” But if the temp is over 90F for most of the year, 70F feels pretty darn cold.)

If you're a member of Ravelry.com, you can follow my knitting progress. Even pictures of all the hats.

I'm back

I'd almost given up on writing a blog. I'm a very private person and was feeling self-conscious about sharing my thoughts and ideas. But I've decided to give it another go.

My best thinking happens while I'm physically active. It seems that while my body is occupied, my mind is free to wander. And the less I try to direct my thoughts, the better I am at sorting them out. It may even be more enjoyable than dreaming.

Often, while I'm swimming, I compose posts to share. The thought, the word choice -- it all seems so entertaining and perfectly structured. But then, once I've had the pleasure of experiencing it, it seems unnecessary to write it down.

I would, however, like to capture my thoughts and experiences as an amputee. The challenges I face in everyday life, overcoming the simple struggles that all amputees face: I think that chronicling the process will be useful to other amputees. So here goes...

How can you help? Inundate my Senators with a flood of letters

Today I wrote a letter to my US Senators, asking them to help me appeal the Social Security denial of my disability claim. I'm outraged that after supporting myself for my entire adult life I've been denied. How could that happen? I feel that I've fallen through the cracks and there is no net to catch me.

You can help me by writing a letter or sending an email to my Senators. (If you want to email, click on the Senator's name to follow the link to his individual website.)

Praise my accomplishments, commend my character, tell them I was cute as a baby or that I can juggle--but please write. I hope that an avalanche of letters of support will encourage them to at least review my case.

Christopher Dodd, Senator

Washington DC Office

448 Russell Building

Washington DC 20510

Tel: (202) 224-2823

Fax: (202) 224-1083

CT District Office

30 Lewis St Suite 101

Hartford, CT 06103
Tel: (860) 258-6940
(800) 334-5341 (in CT)
Fax: (860) 258-6958 

Joseph Lieberman, Senator

Washington DC Office

706 Hart Office Building

Washington, DC 20510

202.224.4041 (Voice)

202.224.9750 (Fax)

Connecticut Office

One Constitution Plaza, 7th Floor

Hartford, CT 06103

860.549.8463 (Voice)

800.225.5605 (In CT)

866.317.2242 (Fax)

You can review the letters I wrote to them here: Dodd / Lieberman